Loneliness...

As I sit here waiting for my daughter's return from a play date, I am struck by the knowledge that I am alone. There is no one on the sofa, in the bath, in the other room, or out on the balcony. It's just me.  Alone. The silence of the apartment fills my head.
The desire to fill the void is overwhelming. So, I start thinking.  For those that know me, those words are as ominous as storm clouds. I am alone, but more serious than that is the fact that I am lonely.  There is a huge difference between the two.  Being alone ends at some point or another.  My daughter will come home, a friend will stop by, I will go to work. People abound in my life, but still, I am lonely.  Loneliness is an insidious creature that eats away at confidence, vitality, comfort, and soul.  It makes you question things in your life that should NEVER be questioned, like who you are, what value you have, or the importance of you just being. I wish for so many things, but the thing I wish for most, is the comfort of my own "self". I have beaten this beast before, and I will do it again.

Causes...

As most of my friends are aware, I am not shy about voicing opinions or asking for an ear when it comes to things I am passionate about.  That being said, it's time to hop on my soapbox and ask for a minute of your time. Childhood is a time for growth, exploration, learning, simplicity, and health to enjoy all of the above.  However, there are many children who are not able to grow, explore, or learn because they lack the last item: health.  With so many childhood diseases and illness, and tragic cases of abuse or neglect, it is hard to fathom why we would want to bring a child into this world, until you have one of your own.  You realize that one of the greatest blessings in life is holding and nurturing that child inside your body, and as the saying goes, wearing your heart outside your body.  I have many friends whose children are labeled "special needs".  Various illnesses or genetic abnormalities have blasted a hole in the idyllic life that many of them once had pictured.  It is a constant struggle to gain recognition, assistance, or even acceptance in a world more concerned with perfection than humanity.  Cerebral Palsy, SMA, Autism, ADHD, Cystic Fibrosis, Down's syndrome, Prader-Willi Syndrome, Dyslexia...All of these are real, heart-rending conditions that many of my friends compete with on a daily basis, and I am amazed everyday by their strength, courage, and resilience.  I see the looks, hear the comments, watch the rude behavior toward them and it infuriates me. When will learn the lesson? There is a blog called The Life Unexpected.  Check it out...and remember: Blessed are the children, and their parents for they are the ones with valor.

Tact...

One of the things I like least about social media is the distance it places between you and your contact.  Things like inflection, tone, and body language are all a part of communication and they are lost when typing a message into a cold computer. You lose the chance to be caring, loving, concerned, or snarky. Unless, of course, you use those fun little emoticons...blech.  I got an email the other day from a family member that was, let's just say, rude. Don't know that that was how it was meant, but that is how it came across.  No greeting, no how are you, just smack-me-in-the-face with the disappointment and bad news, then ending with "have a happy holiday". Really? Is that what communication has boiled down to? Is that how we want our loved ones to find out about the things that are going on in our lives? The truly sad part is that that is exactly how she communicates in person.  It's awful.
Occasionally we say things that can seem thoughtless, or hurtful, and most of the time we try to atone for them once they pass our lips, but, now, it seems it has become the norm for sarcasm and digs to live in relative ease among our conversation.  "Just sayin'" has become the socially acceptable term used to alleviate guilt about something cruel that was said.  I know I am guilty of taking potshots at friends and I assume that most of those that I do it to understand that it is with humor that I do so, but such is not always the case.  I do hope that those of you who are ever hurt by what I say, call me on it.  It's not okay to hurt someone's feelings...EVER...and remember that with out the 90% of communication that is non-verbal, things can get out of hand really quickly.